![]() ![]() ![]() Who cares if your friends say its a toxic behavior? Your relationship with the narcissist feels so connected that youll never share that intimacy with anyone else. Letting someone go through your phone feels like building trust. Its pretty intense and in the beginning, it feels really good. We make ourselves completely vulnerable and call it bonding. We tell the narcissist things weve never said to anyone. Youve probably opened yourself up to the narcissist more than you have to anyone else in your life. When youre relying on traumatic bonding to maintain a relationship with a narcissist, it changes how you perceive normal intimacy. How Trauma Bonding Skews Your Sense of Normal Intimacy Think of a boss dangling a raise over your head. Imagine a mother-in-law or mother you can never seem to please no matter how hard you try. ![]() Keep in mind: these concepts of intermittent reinforcement, trauma bonding, and love addiction take many forms and many narcissists will enter your life. Thats why psychological experts admit that its almost impossiblefor narcissists to change even through comprehensive therapy. That breaking point where the narcissist finally changes will never happen because they honestly believe they are in the right. To them, emotions exist to manipulate and control others. In healthy relationships, people bond with each other through positive experiences. The narcissist thrives on your need for approval and love while manufacturing traumatic situations to enforce bonding. Traumatic Bonding is the Chain Keeping You Linked to the Narcissist Thats your reward and its completely void of any actual intention or real emotion dont buy it for a second. Then, for a fleeting moment, they also apologize and tell you how much they value you. By the end of the argument, youre apologizing to them. You confront the narcissist for hurting you. A narcissist uses your feelings of inadequacy, desperation, and worthlessness as an opportunity to hold their own affection hostage. In these cases, people communicate their feelings and work together to improve the situation.īut a narcissist does not process feelings and emotions the same way. If people dont know when a reward will pop up, they tend to work harder than they would (or should) in hopes of receiving a reward.Įven in healthy relationships, people start to take each other for granted due to consistent reinforcement. Studies showthat when people receive a reward at consistent intervals, they start to expect the reward and work less intensively. Intermittent reinforcement is another dangerous tool the narcissist uses to exploit your love addiction and cement traumatic bonding. How Intermittent Reinforcement Keeps You Hooked ![]()
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